Death Panel Optional

Our ObamaNation has learned that Democrats are considering making the death panel optional but you will be fined 30% of your social security if you fail to file for a end of life card by your 50th birthday. This end of life card will provide for rewards such as a 10% discount off hospice care, a free tour of the any nursery home within 50 miles of your home, free transportation to the death counselor of your choice, or the complete unabridged literary works of Doctor Kevorkian. More such rewards are being considered.

Elder Care Czar

Our ObamaNation has learned that President Obama has appointed Dr. Kevorkian the czar over medical care for the elderly.

White House Press Secretary Bob Gibbs stated this is only the President's initial step in reducing the cost of Social Security.